Yeah, can you believe it? After all this time you’re still not happy. I know you’re wondering what’s wrong.
They all say in order to be happy you have to be positive. A negative outlook doesn’t lead a positive life. So you slap on a happy face.
You put on your best fake smile whenever people walk by you. But, as soon as their out of your sight, that perky smile whittles into an awkward looking frown.
Honestly, you end up looking more constipated then you do pleased.
Your facial expression, unbeknownst to you, stays that way until you notice someone else approaching. Then it’s a big grin again for the next 2.5 seconds before it fades again.
But you can’t keep the smile on for long, or even look delighted, because reality seeps back in.
Stop Faking It
You’ve been wearing a phony smile for a while. And not just for passing strangers and co-workers but for yourself also.
You thought pretending to be happy would actually make you happy one day (or at least make things more bearable). But you’ve been doing it for so long and nothing has changed.
In fact, things probably feel like they’re getting worse and harder to deal with.
You know that whole fake it until you make it thing? Well, you’ve been doing it here, and it’s not working… at all!
Ignoring the issue will not make it go away. You may not be doing it on purpose, but you can’t turn a blind eye to it anymore.
At this rate, this bad, coping habit will keep you unhappy forever.
And we’re just scratching the surface here. This is a cover-up for other unhappy related habits. There’s much more to this, like the reasons why you have to pretend.
All in all, these habits make it impossible to be happy, which is why you’re not happy.
They say, a bad habit are like a comfortable bed, easy to get into, hard to get out of. You know exactly what I mean, that feeling that comes right after you hit the snooze button on the alarm in the morning.
The only thing you can do is get rid of these repellent habits. Eliminating them will end your need to pretend to be happy, because for once you’ll actually feel it.
Here are the habits you need to ditch for true happiness:
1. Caring what others think
I think there is a saying that goes something like, other people’s opinions of me are none of my business. And it’s true.
You can do the right thing all the time and constantly put everyone else before yourself, and someone (or number of people) will always find some way to criticize you. It’s just inevitable.
People like to talk, and a lot of the time it’ll be about you. You can’t allow yourself to get caught up in it.
At the end of the day, it really does not matter what they think of you. It only matters what you think of you.
Their perspective is not your business. It holds no weight in your world.
2. Talking smack about yourself
Other people’s cruel words are the only ones you have to worry about. You can be talking smack too.
This is very common when you put emphasis on other’s negative opinions about yourself. You start to believe what they’re saying. You buy into it so much that you keep reminding yourself of and focusing on these faults.
Whether they are true or not you don’t need to dwell on them. You’re not solving any problems by doing this, you’re actually making things worse.
Life is already challenging enough, you don’t need to add to it.
3. Restlessly looking for more
Having big dreams are awesome but if you can’t even allow yourself to enjoy what you do have, you’re just complaining in a different way.
Having a $10 million dollar home would be really nice but don’t knock where you stay now. A bigger, more luxurious house will have some features that you could really enjoy but realize that you’re not living in a shack.
Focusing so hard on the unnecessary and not appreciating what you already have keeps you from being happy now.
4. Dare to compare
You’re different, she’s different, he’s different. None of us are the same. You may think that two people have enough similarities to make a fair comparison but you’re wrong.
It’s like comparing apples and oranges. Yeah, they’re both round and grow on trees but they’re different on the inside and out.
Comparing yourself to someone else is fruitless (see what I just did there) and a waste of time.
5. Living in your mistakes
Everyone screws up every now and then. It just happens.
Once it’s over and done with there’s nothing you can do about it. You can’t turn back time, so there’s no point in constantly reminding yourself of them.
Let it go and move forward, in a positive direction.
6. Placing blame
It’s easy to blame someone else for your trouble. It even seems better because it makes you seem flawless. But when you do that you become a bystander in your own life.
Blaming someone gives them all the power in the situation. You don’t have the ability to change things in anyway. You’re helpless.
Regardless of the details of what really happened, if you’re involved you have the ability to do something. Don’t rob yourself of that.
7. Being a Yes Man
As much as you want to, you can’t be everything to everybody. And you can’t do it all.
You need some time for yourself, just to relax and reenergize. It’s hard to do that when you’re running around like a chicken with its head cut off.
You may want to help others but before it becomes too much, stop. Remember, their responsibilities are theirs, they can handle it.
8. Waiting for perfection
If you wait for the perfect moment you’ll be waiting forever. There’s always room for improvement.
So waiting for things to get better is really just a moving target. There will always be something that can be better. In other words, it won’t happen.
Stop wasting your time, cause that’s all you’re doing. Remember, the clock only moves in one direction.
9. Sticking to the same ‘ole
There’s comfort in the usual, and fear in the unknown. But is life really worth living if every single day of your life is a carbon copy of the previous day? Or previous years???!
Don’t be scared to get out there and try something different. It’s what life is about.
How else are you going to know what you like? Trying new things is the only way.
10. Doing too much
I know, I know. There are probably a number of things in your life that you would love to all miraculously change at once, but that’s really hard to do. Yeah, I said it, it’s the truth.
Doing too much at one time is hard to juggle. You end up falling behind on something, getting frustrated and giving up everything (since you started it as a package deal, you end it that way as well).
Don’t make the load too heavy to carry.
Now You’ll Be Making It
Faking it until you make it has its place but not where your happiness is concerned. Being happy is just not something that happens on its own, you have to cultivate it.
Pretending seems like the easier task but in the end it just sends you round and round, in circles. You never actually get to a happy place.
If you want to be happy you’re going to have to give up these hindering habits. Don’t prolong the path to your happiness anymore. You can have it much sooner than you think.
Which one do you identify the most with?