Jealousy is something we've all felt at some point in our lives.
Imagine this: Janet is the new girl to join your social group. She's always so put-together. Janet is smart and well-dressed. She's in her best physical shape, plus she's got the kind of job that's the envy of most people. So at social gatherings, you can't help but feel a bit annoyed or irritated whenever she's around.
As a matter of fact, it's gotten to the point that you'd rather stay home than go to social gatherings because you just know that Janet is going to be there. Unfortunately, she's not going anywhere and you're not either with that kind of attitude.
So how can you stop being jealous whenever Janet is around? Believe it or not, you can release your jealousy with the help of writing, journaling that is.
Here are the steps on how to do exactly that:
1. Start writing. Just got home from a party where Janet was there too? Take out your journal and start describing your feelings during the party. Don't hold back. Let loose.
2. Be descriptive about it. Write down everything you observed about how Janet looked: her clothes, her hair, how she carried herself. What are her best features? How about her worst? Write down all those things as well.
Now this doesn’t require that you stare her down or study her, that’s creepy. Just include the things you noticed.
3. Now you. The next step is to write about how you looked at the party: your clothes, your hair, how you carried yourself. What are your best and worst features? Be brutally honest with yourself.
4. List all the positive qualities or characteristics that Janet demonstrates. Be exhaustive with your list. Be descriptive as well. Use words such as "self-confident", "great sense of humor", and "easygoing".
5. Now, list down all your positive qualities too. It could be that some of those qualities will be similar to Janet's. Then there are qualities that are unique only to you.
6. Be open to the possibility that you've got as much to offer as Janet does. As you write in your journal, you'll see that while Janet has qualities that you admire, you've got a lot of positive qualities as well.
The objective here is not to draw up a comparison between you and Janet. The goal is for you to learn and identify your own positive qualities.
7. When you journal, it's a good idea to explore what exactly it is about Janet that seems to threaten you. Do you think Janet has something that you don't have? If so, identify what that is and write about it. Perhaps it's a quality that you can have after working for it. Perhaps it's an impossible quality.
For instance, Janet is physically fit while you, on the other hand, could use some time in the gym. Are you willing to put in the effort to become as physically fit as Janet? If you are, then nothing can really stop you from achieving a better body except yourself.
However, if it bothers you that Janet is so much taller than you — she at 5'10" compared to your 5'6" — there's really nothing you can do about the height difference. All you can do at this point is accept it. Or wear four inches heels every day.
After you figure out your positive qualities, you'll come to the realization that you don't have any real reason to see Janet as the enemy. She is not "better" than you.
If you're experiencing challenging issues, journaling can help you resolve those issues. As you journal, you'll feel more at peace with Janet and her qualities. In the end, you'll even realize that everybody can improve on some of the characteristics they possess.
Understand that feeling some jealousy is perfectly normal. We all feel jealous at one time or another. It's also important to know that you can deal with your jealousy. You can try developing a plan on how to overcome jealousy whenever you feel it rearing its ugly head.
In your journal, you can write positive statements such as, "Had a chat with Janet and ask her where she buys her shoes" or "Approached her before dinner and see if she can give me tips about toning my body."
Learn to let go of your jealousy. At the end of your journaling, you'll be ready to let go of your jealousy.
While it's perfectly normal to feel jealous, it can start to eat at you if you're in a constant state of jealousy for a long time. Try journaling to get over your feelings of jealousy. Journaling will help you get to the root of your jealous feelings, help you overcome those feelings and appreciate yourself.