Yes, you’ve been deceived.
All that talk about how you shouldn’t be selfish is rubbish.
As you grow up you’re taught all about how being selfish is a bad thing. How it won’t serve you and in fact would make you a bad person that no one wants to be around.
When you’re a kid playing at the park and another child comes over you should share your toys with them. The ideal thing to do is to let them play with your favorite GI Joe or Barbie doll.
Don’t be selfish. Let them have some fun too.
And when mom is baking cookies for later and asks you what kind to make, you say macadamia nut.
Then you have to endure an endless lecture about how she can’t make that because your kid sister is allergic to nuts.
What were you thinking? It’s not just about you. Don’t you think your kid sister wants some cookies too?
Mom can’t just make what you want.
Stop being selfish!
In these cases if you were to only think about yourself you would be wrong, and certainly selfish, in a bad way, but you have to know when it’s appropriate.
When you’re dealing with situations that directly involve other people, where they’re supposed to also get something from it, being selfish will land you in hot water.
However there will be times when it is completely necessary for your happiness and success.
To be honest with you, it’s probably the missing factor.
Game of Telephone
The whole idea of selfishness being this extremely negative characteristic is just a screwed up game of telephone.
You remember that game.
It’s where a bunch of people sit in a circle, or some other kind of somewhat organized order. Then the first person tells the second person something and they keep passing it on to the next person until it reaches the last one.
Then the last person says it aloud to the whole group to see if it’s the original message that was passed to the second person.
But by the time it gets to the end, it’s not. Not even remotely similar.
Kind of them same thing has happened here. Someone probably started out saying you shouldn’t be selfish all the time. And that turned into selfishness is the devil!
But it’s not, I assure you.
The whole thing has just been taken out of context.
See, the thing is when people say that being selfish is bad you can immediately tell they’re focused on the wrong side of it.
They’re thinking about all the times when you didn’t want to share your toys or let your sister ride your bike. And how you didn’t care if she couldn’t have cookies for dessert, how is her being allergic to nuts your problem?
Considering that, they’re right.
That is not the time to be selfish at all, your sister deserves cookies just as much as you do.
Believe it or not there is a good side, or benefits I should say, to being selfish. It’s not all gloomy clouds, fiery pits of hell or little siblings covered in hives.
It can actually be good for you and inspiring for those around you.
Let it in
Let the feeling of selfishness wash over you. Take it all in.
It’s not bad. You might have reservations at first, wondering if you’re doing that right thing, not to worry. You are.
You just feel this way initially because of your preconceived notions of the whole selfishness thing.
It may take some getting used to but you should be unapologetically selfish, in a good way. You do this by focusing on your dreams.
No one else is going to have consideration for your dreams and goals so you have to do what you need to achieve them.
You have to be selfish for the sake of your future. It all depends on you.
You’re not going to be happy or successful unless you focus on what’s important to you. That means being selfish with your time and focus.
The good thing about being selfish is:
Yup, it’s all about you.
It’s your life. To live it the way you want you have to be focused on what makes you happy and your idea of success.
And there’s no need to feel bad about this because it’s natural to take care of yourself first.
Think about the safety demonstrations conducted on an airplane before take-off. In the event the oxygen masks drop down from the ceiling you’re advised to place yours on before assisting others.
How helpful would you be in assisting your neighbor with their mask if you pass out mid task due to lack of air?
You’re no good to others if you’re in bad shape yourself.
In order to reach new heights you have to grow.
But that can be hard to do with you have a thousand and one obligations and no time to make changes and take action.
Being selfish allows for your personal development to happen. Instead of just talking about how you need to do this and that to be better. You’ll actually be making sure that you do it.
Growing and developing takes time, attention and effort to take place. And you don’t want to be the same person forever.
Yeah, you’ll have to miss a few nights out with friends but becoming a better version of yourself for the rest of your life is better a few hours out on the town.
When you become more concerned with what is expected of you versus what you want, you end up working a job you hate and having meaningless relationships.
At some point that’s going to get old and you will feel empty and frustrated.
Selfishness enables you to provide the attention needed to make sure everything in your life has depth and meaning.
Things will go according to your plan when you take the time to devote to it.
You have to be focused on yourself and your desires to achieve something great. A purposeful life embodies that.
When you’re selfish you’re focused on yourself. That’s why selfish people are independent and successful.
They’re not waiting on someone else to provide them with what they need. Nope, they’re out there getting it themselves.
You don’t want to be in a position where you’re depending on others to take care of your needs or to make a move on your goals. Third parties shouldn’t dictate how you live your life.
Your life should be the result of your efforts, not the whims of others.
Yes, you will be happy. Stop thinking that you’ll be punished for focusing on yourself. You’ll actually be unhappy if you don’t.
Being selfish ensures that you do what’s important to you and what you enjoy. When you’re doing those things you become happier. And when you’re happy you’re productive, positive and resilient.
All the things you need to be to go after your dreams.
When you’re happy, independent, growing personally and living a meaningful life people are going to look at you differently. They’re going to admire the life you’ve created, wanting to duplicate it.
While being unselfish seems like a better bet think about it for a minute. Recall the most unselfish person that you know.
Do you think they’re happy? Do you think people respect them? Are they in complete control of their lives?
Nope they’re not. How could they be? Everyone else is treating them like doormats. No one cares about their feelings and ultimately their life.
Apparently not even them because if they did they’d know it’s time to be more selfish.
This is exactly what you don’t want to be. Why you need to be selfish.
When you’re experiencing all of these benefits, how could you not feel good.
Taking care of yourself and making sure that your needs are met feels great. You feel like you’re on top of the world and wanting for nothing.
It’s a wonderful feeling when you’re making progress on your dreams, achieving your goals and are all around happy.
When you’re constantly being told that you shouldn’t be your sole focus it can be hard to even make yourself your primary focus. But you have to.
Just remember that if no one is focused on your needs and goals they can’t be met.
Being selfish isn’t as bad as it sounds. It’s actually a contributing factor to your success and overall happiness.
Make sure your selfishness isn’t taken to the extreme, it’s all about moderation. The point of it is not to alienate people but to make sure that your needs are getting the right amount of attention.
You don’t want to become the most unselfish person you know, because that would be the worst thing in the world for your future.
Remember these benefits, which also benefit those around you (see it’s selfless to be selfish). Everyone wins.
Become a little more selfish.
Are you selfish enough?