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4 Distorted Beliefs That Slaughter Your Chances at a Better Life

better life

What you know to be fact can actually be fiction.

At this point you’re probably wondering how you could come to believe such things. If you think it is right it must be right, right?

I mean it’s not like you just pull this stuff out of the air. It came from somewhere.

Something happened to you personally or that you witness that made you believe that so wholeheartedly.

So it has to be right. But no, it’s still wrong.

The fact of the matter is you probably have a lot of beliefs that have no basis or stem from very different circumstances. Either way, that doesn’t make them 100% right.

And yet you still live your life according to these things, these preposterous, distorted beliefs.

So much so that is influencing your everyday existence.

But you don’t get it. To you it’s just another roadblock, a dead end you won’t even bother with.

These beliefs have complete control of your journey. So the quicker you realize how distorted they are the sooner you’ll be on the right track.

Detour Ahead

The thing about your beliefs is they are the basis for everything you do, and don’t do.

If you think something is so easy that you can do it in your sleep, you’ll get up and do it whenever you want.

But on the contrary, if you think it’s impossible, or too hard, you’ll completely bypass it.

Actually you’ll be so used to this you won’t even give it a second thought. You won’t even think to dispute it. Nope. It’s too real to you.

But where your dreams and goals are concerned you should dispute everything.

Whatever you want to do should be examined in a manner to ensure that all your bases are covered and you’re doing the right thing for you.

You shouldn’t miss any opportunity to make things happen for yourself.

Yet living by distorted beliefs will prevent you from getting things. Things that you could’ve had already.

Getting on Track

As we mentioned before, these beliefs typically come from somewhere, something brought them on. And while they may have been spot on then, that doesn’t mean they apply to everything.

There are various factors that contribute to an outcome. Therefore things may not always be the same every time.

Not to mention you’re probably comparing apples and oranges thinking that they’ll both produce the same thing.

The bottom line is, this one size fits all ideology isn’t working for you. It’s actually working against you.

Without giving things a fair shot, you’re cheating yourself out of a better life.

Now I’m not saying you should question every single belief you have, but when you notice yourself letting go of something related to your goal, think again.

You need to be more objective. If something can help you to live a better life you should be all ears.

But first and foremost you have to let go of these distorted beliefs. Get a bit of practice by dismantling these beliefs and not only will you be more motivated based on what you have accomplished already, but you’ll know how to pull apart other counterproductive thoughts.

This is very important since it is impossible to achieve anything without your head being in the right space.

1. “I don’t follow my dreams because I know I can’t achieve them.”

But how do you know that? You haven’t even tried…

Sure you may have tried to achieve things in the past and it didn’t exactly go the way you planned but that doesn’t make you a complete failure.

Being bad at one thing doesn’t make you bad at everything.

This form of self-sabotage is lethal because it stops you before you’ve even begun.

The truth is you could be totally awesome at achieving your dreams because you’ll have so much more passion behind it.

Instead of just allowing this belief to shape your future, take a moment to think about how you could make your dreams a reality. Figure out the different ways you can get there.

You’ll be amazed with what you can come up with and the things you can do.

If things get a little tough, don’t let that stop you. There’s no elevator to success, you have to take the stairs. So climb your way up, one step and a time.

So whenever this pops into your head ask yourself how you can achieve your dreams.

2. “Those kinds of things will never happen for me.”

That right there shows that you feel like you do not deserve it. For some reason you don’t think you’re incapable of having the things you want.

You need to examine your self-esteem and build up your confidence. You are as important and deserving as anyone else, so you need to adjust your thoughts accordingly.

You’re in control of your feelings and actions. Make every effort to make yourself feel good and know your worth.

You’re entitled to everything you want and you should have it.

The road to achievement may not be a clearly defined one, but just ask yourself how you can make it happen for you.

And get ready to jump out of your comfort zone.

3. “I can’t trust anyone.”

Now this typically follows a bad experience. While it seems like a good way to protect yourself and prevent history from repeating itself, it’s really no way to live.

You will come across many people who do not deserve your trust but that’s not a blanket statement that can be applied to everyone and situation.

Besides from the experience, you probably learned something about what is needed in a person worthy of your trust. So it wasn’t all bad. You gained some wisdom along the way.

There is going to come a time when you need to trust someone, and being comfortable with it is the only way it will work.

Allow the necessary people to earn your trust and once they have don’t stress over it. You’ll just be driving yourself insane. After all, you can’t be everywhere at once so just let go for once.

In order to have real relationships there has to be trust. You can be cautious without completely shutting people out.

4. “I don’t make enough to enjoy life.”

When it comes to being happy this is like shooting yourself in the foot.

You’re basically saying what you do for a living prevents you from being truly happy. You can’t enjoy life in general as long as you do it. And you can’t quit so, you’re stuck.

Instead of allowing your mind to be open, this slams it just and puts a lock on it.

If you feel like money is tight look at how you’re spending it. There is probably some unnecessary waste going on.

Recognize that there are other people who are happy with less and you can figure out how you can enjoy life.

Take control of your finances and open up to different ways to enjoy life.

 

When you’re struggling to create a better life the issues may be right in your head. Examine your beliefs around the things that would improve your life to make sure that they are accurate and unbiased.

You could be cutting yourself short before you even have the chance to be successful and happy.

Everyone deserves to be happy and to live a better life. Even you! Despite what you may think now, it’s in the cards for you. Just give it a fair chance.

You don’t have to settle, you just have to work at making the proper changes in your beliefs.

Ditch your distorted beliefs! They’re all wrong anyway.

 

And you…

What belief do you have that stops you in your tracks?

When you think about something that could improve your life, what’s your first thought?

 

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About Lea


Lea is a certified life coach, foodie and lifehack expert. Don’t end up like the millions of people who gave up on their dreams, get unstuck and to the next level. Take the eye-opening Live Your Dreams course now to get moving!


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  • Hey Lea,

    I use to go back and forth with number 2.. I can and I can’t… it’s a battle in a lot of us. Then I went from that to just saying I might as well try it out, what do I have to lose LOL.. Now, I said, I’m going to go ahead and do and learn what I can.

    One thing I would also add is how we tend to compare ourselves to others. This is a big no no.. it will stop us in our tracks. We’re all unique in our own way and yet at the same time we’re all connected somehow.

    So instead just take the bull by the horn and go for it! You’ll appreciate later instead of regretting it!

    Great post Lea! I hope you’re having a great weekend!

    • Lea

      Hey Sherman,

      Yeah, I know what you mean. I even do the same. One minute you’re really confident about it then later when you think about it you start to doubt yourself.

      Very true, comparisons don’t help at all. You always seem to think that you’re looking at two of the same things, but the truth is you aren’t. There aren’t comps when it comes to people.

      I agree! Just start doing it! And save yourself the self-torture of going back and forth. πŸ™‚

      Thanks for contributing Sherman. Enjoy the week!

      ~Lea

  • Hi Lea,

    What a excellent post. All we ever wanted to do was to feel good about ourselves. That’s where a lot of my distorted beliefs came from.

    When your truths isn’t the truth is one thing when you’re open-minded to a different point of view. There is hope for you.

    But when you’re closed-minded you have to live with those beliefs knowing they serve you no purpose.

    We should all take a closer look at our lives and beliefs from time to time. Especially what we believe is the truth because it just might be outdated.

    Thanks!

    • Lea

      Hi Vernon,

      Being close-minded is the worst. It’s really sad when you know something isn’t right and you follow it anyway, like these distorted beliefs. Some people know that they can do something but only think it can happen to a certain extent.

      We certainly should. As you grow and learn you may come to realize that your beliefs are no longer in alignment with you.

      Thank you!

      ~Lea

  • Hi Lea,

    “2. Those Kind of Things Won’t Happen for me” is what I see/hear most commonly. It plays a huge part in start up procrastination.

    And frustrates the hell out of me. I wana shake some of these people and say.. “DON’T YOU SEE YOUR POTENTIAL, YOUR AMAZING”. Luckily I have great self control and wouldn’t act out what I just described!

    I can only encourage and support πŸ™‚

    Naomi

    • Lea

      Hi Naomi,

      I can see why. If they think they cannot get the success they’re after they don’t even try.

      True, it is hard to see people knock themselves down when they’ve really got talent.

      Good for you Naomi, you’ve got to hold it together for them πŸ™‚

      ~Lea

  • Wonderful post, Lea
    There are many people who underestimate their true potential. They think it’s easy to unfollow the dreams because the path becomes difficult. It’s very easy to discard things. The most important thing is to accept the journey. After acceptance, we understand our real worth.
    The fourth thought is definitely a lethal one. There is no definition of ‘enough’. Man is never satisfied. When we start cursing our journey, we can’t extract the happy juices out of it.
    Thanks for this lovely article

    • Lea

      Thanks Yatin,

      It is so simple to toss things aside. The hard part comes with sticking with it and some people don’t think they’re cut out for it. You have to connect with your desire for it, then you’ll find the needed strength to go on.

      Thanks for your comment.

      ~Lea

  • Junie

    I love this post Lea.

    I used to say I can’t trust men because of previous bad relationships. But like you rightly said, “You will come across many people who do not deserve your trust but that’s not a blanket statement that can be applied to everyone…” I discovered that not all men are the same and that made it easier for me to trust them.

    When I hear people complain about not making enough money to enjoy life, it makes me think about families living in third world countries. Many of them struggle to survive. Plus, they live without the creature comforts we have and take for granted, yet they are happy. They’re content with what they have and make the best out of their bad situations.

    I was watching a children’s programme last week about children in different parts of the world. Some of them live in houses with one room which they share with other family members. They didn’t have shoes on their feet and barely any furniture in their homes. But it was amazing to see the happiness on their faces. They were all smiling, not walking around with long faces, sulking. Even their parents were smiling. It was heart-warming to watch.

    We could learn a lot from them, on how they find inner peace and happiness with the little they have.

    You made some great points in this article.

    Thanks for sharing. Have a great week ahead. πŸ™‚

    • Lea

      Why thank you June!

      The trick is just to figure out who deserves it. Being able to trust people does make like easier. The burden really lies with the one who harbors all the negative feelings about things.

      Yes! So many people have it much worse. And there are a lot of people out there who are so much happier with less than you would think.

      Oh that sounds uplifting. While having conveniences and nice things helps it can get to the point where you are spoiled and unappreciative. The fact of the matter is you don’t need it all and can find happiness without it.

      We sure could!

      Thank you for sharing June. Enjoy your week also.

      ~Lea

  • Hey Lea,

    Great post.

    It’s amazing that many people do have these type of limiting beliefs about themselves. I know it to be true because I had #2 and #4 happen for me. However, I completely changed my way of thinking and said to myself, “I deserve this too.” and also “money won’t make me truly happy.”

    Positive thought really counters a lot of the negative. But it’s just to be willing to think positively. That’s the thing.

    – Andrew

    • Lea

      Hey Andrew,

      Yeah, sometimes you can be your own worst enemy and not even realize it.

      That is true, you do deserve it. You just have to know it first. Glad you came to that realization.

      Yes, and it takes a bit of effort. But then again what doesn’t? πŸ™‚

      Thanks for commenting.

      ~Lea

  • Hi Lea

    Great post! I am reminded also of a popular bible verse and a book by James Allen called ‘As a Man Thinketh’ and in the bible which says ‘as a man thinketh in his heart, so is he,’ both of which I love.

    James Allen’s book is very transforming and I can see that you have covered much grounds here addressing the distorted beliefs that often slaughter our chances of a better life.

    In years gone past, my debilitating thoughts got the best of me. I operated out of fear, doubt and unbelief and my actions were right on the heels of these. I had low self-esteem and did not see myself as being good enough. Things began to change for me once I started to read self-help books and of course the bible all of which changed my life completely.

    I add to these positive affirmations that helps me stay on track and to have the best life that I possibly can.

    Thanks for sharing. Have great weekend!

    • Lea

      Hi Yvonne,

      Thanks! That is the truth.

      You do have to pay attention to what is motivating you to act a certain way. Glad you determine what it was because are not the things you want to dictate your life.

      Good to hear! Thanks for sharing your tips.

      ~Lea

  • Hi Lea,

    Wonderful post indeed πŸ™‚

    As they say, it’s all in the mind. So, if you think you cannot accomplish something, you won’t because of that negative thought about it. The LOA plays a major part here as well.

    #1 is the apt example – and even if you could achieve your dreams, you kill the very chances you had with this thought!

    So, unless you ditech your distorted beliefs, you cannot really proceed further, isn’t it?

    My first thought is always to go for it, though I do give it a thought and balance out my heart and mind there πŸ™‚

    Thanks for sharing. Have a nice weekend πŸ™‚

    • Lea

      Hi Harleena,

      Thank you:-)

      So right, mental blocks are the most powerful.

      Yup, distorted beliefs ruin potentially beautiful futures.

      Sometimes you do just need to take action before you talk yourself out of it. I do tend to go back and forth for the same balance. But it try to pay attention as not to be to negative about it.

      ~Lea

  • Hey Lea,

    I am a constant visitor of your blog and I must say that this is one of the best post I have ever read from you.

    Thank you as you have covered all the important points which takes away the happiness from our life. I think we should have purpose in our life as it will help us to live more constructively.

    Thank You Again for Inspiring Lea.

    • Lea

      Hey Yash,

      Wow, thanks.

      You tend to limit your potential when you think this way. Instead of motivating yourself to follow your dreams and desires, you’re talking yourself out of them.

      Thanks for reading, visiting and commenting Yash.

      ~Lea

  • mark newsome

    Bravo Lea!

    And so very well articulated!Isn’t it odd, that our beliefs just seem to stick with us no matter reality (to the contrary) may be trying to tell us!

    And we’ll cling to our flawed way of thinking, with our last breath!Yet, we won’t mount half the actual effort required, to develop or discover a new, and potentially beneficial perspective!

    I couldn’t help but smile as I was reading your totally excellent post!You’ve laid out an extremely viable alternative way of thinking and processing things!

    It’s really too bad the mental adjustments needed don’t come with your blog post!LOL!

    • Lea

      Thanks Mark!

      Yes!! So weird how it works that way. Like we’re blind to what is right in front of us!

      Those old habits are just so hard to let go of, even when you know its the best thing for you. It’s just too easy to fall back into it.

      Thanks, happy it brought a smile to your face πŸ™‚ Now you made me smile lol.

      I’m working on it LOL.

      Thanks for sharing. Great hearing from you.

      ~Lea

  • Hi Lea,

    What a wonderful subject you have chosen to share with people. I find that many get stuck with unrealistic beliefs. A long long time ago, I was one of them myself. I didn’t think I “deserved” things in life like a happy relationship and wealth. I know that pain of being stuck and making all the wrong decisions that ended up being a disaster.

    When I decided to change, I started with affirmations…I deserve was written all over my house. I repeated it over and over again. That and some help from a therapist really helped.

    Now I know deep in my soul I deserve all that is good for me. We can change our belief systems…we just have to work on it.

    -Donna

    • Lea

      Hi Donna,

      That is a really tricky place to be stuck in. You can’t to get out, you probably feel that you need to badly, but you reject possible ways because you’re beliefs are twisted.

      Good to hear! Always good to hear that reinforcement of affirmations working.

      Yup it takes a little work but we should be more than willing to do it. πŸ™‚

      ~Lea

  • Hey Lea
    Great post. One of the things I would suggest for people is to give themselves permission to want what they and just work on cultivating a mere willingness to believe it is possible even if they can’t possibly see that yet. That alone is very powerful in getting things flowing in the right direction energetically and that little boost of hope and possibility can make the person a match for all sorts of ideas, inspirations and the like that will start them moving in the right direction.

    • Lea

      Hey Kelli,

      Very true. You do have to be open to it for it to happen, so it is good to lay that foundation. That’s why I think it’s helpful to ask yourself the right questions. It gets the ball rolling.

      Thanks for the suggestion.

      ~Lea