Jealousy isn’t the best of emotions, but it does have a tendency to present itself every now and then. It is a natural emotional reaction that occurs when we feel threaten. Typically it has something to do with our unhappiness within ourselves, which should be addressed.
Although having this feeling isn’t really a bad thing, how we behave in response to the feeling can be a problem. People tend to do behave poorly and strangely when they experience jealousy in an attempt to protect themselves from the perceived threat. In some cases this can damage and completely ruin your relationships with others.
While it is very much a part of human nature, this doesn’t mean that it is uncontrollable. Grabbing hold of your feelings and understanding what they really mean can save you a lot of trouble and embarrassment in the future.
Once you are able to understand where your jealousy comes from, you’ll be able to address it and resolve the issue.
An attitude of lack – If you have a general perception that there is not enough for everyone, then you are very familiar with feelings of jealousy. You would fit into this category if you’ve felt that the success of another somehow hindered your own success. Alternatively, if you believe that we live in a place of abundance you would not experience this feeling when talking or hearing about someone else’s accomplishments.
If this source resonates with you, look at it another way. You can also benefit from someone else’s success. When successful people are enjoying their lives, they’re more fun to hang out with, open and their positivity flows. Often, they are happy to help you and share the knowledge that has contributed to their success.
You can also use those people as a source for inspiration. They can also debunk any issues you have with achieving such success. If they can do it, so can you.
An attitude of rivalry – It’s an ego kind of thing. If you always think that success in life is a competition, you versus another person, you’ll often feel jealous. The most common place to feel this way is when you’re competing with a co-worker for a promotion. But you shouldn’t feel that way after hearing that someone got a great new job. Why would you, it’s not like there is only one good job out there and they snatched it up. You shouldn’t think that you can’t get one as well just because they have one. You have not lost because they acquired something. There are an abundant number of opportunities so you shouldn’t feel like you’re competing with anyone, especially those close to you.
Jealousy multiplies – When you are routinely jealous of others, you’ll find more things to be jealous about. It can even get to the point where it is irrational and you’re exaggerating or imagining things.
Being jealous of a friend’s new job will often lead to more jealousy surrounding other changes in their life and the lives of others. You’ll find yourself discovering more things to be envious of in different situations.
If you’re able to read your emotions, they can be an effective guide. When you experience a strong negative emotional response to something it may be because it is the very thing that is lacking in your life.
When you are feeling jealousy toward another person’s job related accomplishments, consider your own career path. Chances are their success and achievements have reminded you that you’re not doing what you should be.
Now that you have an idea as to why feel that way, you can do something about it. You should address the underlying issue so that it doesn’t evolve into a bigger problem. In order to do this you have to be attentive to your emotion.
You can turn this negative emotion into positive action by:
1. Separating yourself from the issue – If you’re able to look at your jealousy as emotional feedback you’ll be able to do something about the situation. This response has nothing to do with that person or your inabilities. It simply informs you that there is more that you desire.
2. Use your emotion as a guide – Identify what it is about the situation that causes you to feel this way and compare it to your situation.
3. Change your life – Once you know what it is that you want, you can work to get it. Establish goals to make your life an improved, happier experience. When you are happy with yourself and your life, you’ll find few and fewer things to be jealous about.
After you identify where your jealousy comes from, you’ll realize how illogical your thought process behind it was. Understand that the world is an abundant place and that another person’s accomplishment doesn’t stop your progress.
What for many is a negative, destructive emotion, for you can be an informative guide for changing your life for the better. Simply find out why something that makes you feel jealous ignites that feeling and settle it. Elevate your emotional intelligence and you can change your life and your mood.
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