Achieving personal change is not easy but it may be necessary for you reach other great achievements in life. How you conduct yourself in general influences all aspects of your life and should be considered when you have difficulty accomplishing your goals.
Many of your habits and thoughts may not be in alignment with your personal desires. But that doesn’t make them unrealistic. You’ll just have to make additional adjustments to allow them to come alive.
For instance, if you’re used to people telling you actually what to do to achieve your goals, or even what goals to have, then having to come up with things yourself may seem impossible.
Let’s say you take a test in high school that says you should become an engineer. They provide you with an outline on how to become one, the classes you should take and the like.
They’ve made it easy for you, if that’s what you want. But what if it’s not, what if you don’t know what you want to do.
The thought of coming up with an alternative could be scary if you’ve always been told what to do.
At this point you would have to make a personal change. A change in the way you think and do things. Get to know yourself on a deeper level, uncovering your true desires.
To get where you want to be, you must grow through a path of change. That is not to say that such a path will always be a long one, only that there is an order to things that must be followed in order to make it a permanent personal change.
Six Steps on the Path of Personal Change
1. Develop self-awareness
In order to have full control over how you present yourself in action, you must have a complete awareness of both your thoughts and actions.
It takes practice to learn how to catch and analyze your thoughts and actions as they occur. However, identifying your negative and self-deceiving thoughts allows you to cancel them.
You must be aware of aversive feelings, as these may be cues from your deeper thoughts about where change needs to take place.
2. Examine yourself
You need to carefully consider why you're feeling that way, maybe you should be behaving differently. Ask yourself as many questions as necessary and try to give yourself the most truthful answers possible.
3. Set goals
Once you've determined that you have problems you need to set goals in place for how you would prefer to be. So you don't simply decide what you dislike, but what you want to replace it with.
Once you've made a decision about what good you will be putting in place of each bad, you'll be empowered to make changes that may seem impossible at the moment.
4. Make changes
It is not enough to know what is wrong and how you would prefer it to be, you must actually go ahead and start making changes.
If you don't do this critical step in the process, you'll be left with nothing but good intentions.
For many people this is the most difficult step in the process. For most, it is second only to the first step in terms of difficulty.
This is the step at which you may allow yourself to fall into a sense of hopelessness if you do not follow through with completing changes.
5. Tweak your changes
It is nice to experience the sense of power that comes with making significant personal change, but there is often a letdown.
You may not feel all of the changes really took you where you want to go. They probably didn't. You'll have to tweak your changes for a significant period of time until you have yourself just the way you want, but this shouldn't minimize the value of the changes you've made already.
6. Make the changes permanent
You may quickly lapse back into the old you if you don't make your changes a matter of your new lifestyle.
They won't feel natural at first, but once you live them as a matter of routine for a period of time they'll become you.
When you understand these steps and have gone through them a few times, it gets much easier to recognize areas where you need personal change and to do what is necessary to make it happen.
Give these steps a try whenever you want something different than what you have currently.
Have you ever been in a situation where you know what you want to change but can’t get around to making it happen? What happened?