Figuring out how to become happier is tricky. I mean its some ways away from where you are now.
You may not be completely depressed about where you are now, but you’re not thrilled either. You know that there’s more, that you can actually be in a better place.
You may even feel like you should’ve been there already.
But instead you’re repeating the same cycle of mediocrity. And why wouldn’t you? It’s so easy.
You simply just get up every morning, do the same things and then have the same feelings about them.
At some point every day you become consumed with frustration and exhaustion. You’re to the point where you just want to throw your hands up.
You have no idea how you can continue on like this. You’re not even sure you can make it.
But every morning, somehow you do.
You think about one day this all becoming a part of your past, and living a happy life. Every now and then you question the possibility. Is it possible?
Of course it is! You’re just clueless.
Get a Clue
Don’t worry too much, it’s perfectly normal.
When you’ve been stuck in the same place for a long time it’s hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel. So of course you’re going to teeter-totter back and forth about what’s possible outside of that.
Hop off of the fence and commit to the idea of breaking the cycle. The real question is how do you do it.
You struggle everyday with your current situation and you’re feelings about it. You become so consumed that you don’t have time to figure out what to do fix things.
It hasn’t even come to mind. How crazy does that sound?
You deal with the problem everyday but can’t come up with a solution.
I don’t blame you, emotions run high, and you’re getting hit back to back with things. Your main focus has become to handle things in a manner that allows you to keep your sanity. You don’t have the energy to dive any deeper.
Anyway, where would you start? What can you do to help? You have to figure this out if you want to see any kind of change.
Do you even know what makes you happy anymore?
Maybe not. You’re so disconnect from it. It’s more like a distant memory. And who knows if that same idea even works for you anymore.
Well, there’s one reason why you’re so stuck. Not only are you baffled about what to do, you’re unclear about what you want.
Now things are starting to make sense, as crazy as it seems. But you still have some stuff to do.
In order to figure out what would make you happy, what needs to be fixed or even how you may be holding yourself back you have to dig deep.
Getting deep into your feelings and beliefs about things will tell you so much about yourself and your wants. It will give the answers that no one else can.
And how do you get answers? You ask questions. In this case, deep questions.
Asking effective questions provides you with real answers that will put you in the right direction.
You’ll know what to move towards, what to stop doing and what actions to take. And once you know what to do and start doing them. That’ll break the cycle of mediocrity you so loathe.
1. Am I getting in my own way?
Yeah, get a load of that. You could be sabotaging yourself.
After everything you’ve been through the last thing you would expect is to be in your own way. But it’s possible.
You could be the very reason you’re stuck in the same place.
And it could be simple things that you wouldn’t even consider, like thinking that you couldn’t pull something off. How do you know unless you’ve given it a real shot?
Or, putting things off. Could now be a good time to change careers? What are you waiting for, the day you end up driving toward the interstate instead of the office parking lot because you can’t stand it anymore.
Determine if you are and how to stop creating more obstacles for yourself.
2. Where do I need the most improvement?
This is probably an age old problem. You procrastinate when it comes to trying something because you don’t think you’re good enough yet.
But instead of sharpening that skill or developing that trait you just put it on the back burner.
It’s never really an idea you give up on completely. Just one you don’t ever follow through on.
You just consider it from time to time. I guess that’s a good way of tricking yourself into thinking that you’re trying to find a way out. But really, you’re not doing anything.
Figure out where you need improvement and… do something about it.
3. If I could, what advice would I give my younger self?
When you look back at things it all becomes so clear. You see the mistakes you made and all the other options you had but were blind to.
Looking back at all the things you have done and decisions you have made over the years you should be able to see a pattern.
That will give you great insight on your current situation. Use that information to make the changes that you need to.
4. What am I really good at and how can it help me?
Sometimes when you’re in a tough spot you tend to forget how amazing you can be.
You may be stuck now and feeling a bit hopeless, but up until this point you proved to be a truly determined individual. You would sort things out and find a work around when others would have given up.
That part of you isn’t gone. You still have it in you. You can be that person again.
Uncover your strengths and see how they can help you get moving. This could be the very thing that moves you into a better place.
5. Do I waste time on things that are beyond my control?
Venting is great way to get things off of your chest and blow off steam.
But complaining is another thing. Complaining is talking, often endlessly, about something in a derogatory manner and doing nothing else about it.
There will be a number of things that you’ll encounter that are beyond your control, and that’s fine but you have to let them go.
There’s no point in getting stuck on them. It’s a waste of time.
Think about it this way, the more time you spend on that, the less time you have to focus on something productive that is within your control. Like a way to get as far away from that situation as possible.
If you find that you spend too much time focus on things beyond your control, make it a point to catch yourself in the act and nip in it the bud.
6. What do I want my life to look like?
This is where you reconnect with your idea of happiness. Where you’ll figure out what you want, what’s important to you. What would you like to be your greatest accomplishment?
Once you determine what that is you have to figure out if you’re moving in that direction. Is what you’re doing now or how you’re currently living putting you closer or further away from that dream?
If you can’t connect the dots between here and now to your future vision, you have to make some changes.
7. What’s standing in my way?
Now this is a little different from determining if you are getting in your own way. Because even if you remove yourself from the equation, you can still have more obstacles to overcome.
In this case, these obstacles would come in the form of external forces standing between you and progress.
Think about what you’re waiting for. What situation do you think needs to happen before you can make a move?
Determine if it’s truly necessary or not. If it is, make it happen. Don’t wait for it to magically happen on its own.
8. How do I handle challenges?
Do you give up and complain? Do you blame others for the problems or do you look for solutions?
How you handle the challenges you face impact your progress and ultimately your happiness.
If they are not addressed in a productive manner, you’ll be stuck in the misery that they bring.
Make sure that when you’re hit with a challenge that you look beyond the issues, and focus on a solution.
Breaking the cycle can be tough, really tough when you don’t know where to start. And that routine, no matter how much you want to end it, can be hard to shake when you don’t know that you’re enabling it.
Answering these questions will give you the raw info that you need to determine what needs to be done to break yourself free.
Without questioning yourself you will be blind to the facts that are right in front of your face. The keys to you creating a happy life.
I know when you’re frustrated it’s hard to believe that the solution to your problem was right there all along, but it is. Clues are where you least expect them, you just have to uncover them up.
No one else has clues or insight to your problems like you do. You just have to draw them out with effective questions.
The answers are there.
Are you ready to answer these questions?