Have you noticed that you’re tripping all over yourself?
When I was a kid I always imagined going straight to college then finishing up school and jumping into a career. The picture I had in my head was pretty seamless.
But when I was in high school it didn’t quite start out that way. I went ahead and took all the testing that I was supposed to. Somehow when it came time to fill out the applications I stalled.
I always thought I’d make the early decision time period so I could get the news on my next endeavor before winter was over but I missed that. I still got a few in before the deadline but they weren’t really for the schools I wanted.
Because I slowly applied to the ones I didn’t want to attend, I missed the mark on the few that I did. I wasted time, majorly, which ended up pushing back the continuation of my academic career.
But why was I tripping myself up, it wasn’t part of the plan. And I was so comfortable with the plan. It was really the first plan I had ever made for my adult life and I screwed it up out of the gate.
Loss of control
This was one of my first steps into adulthood. I was going into new territory. It was scary, I wasn’t in control, I didn’t know what to expect. The Saved by the Bell: College Years wasn’t preparation enough.
Self-sabotaging myself into staying in a similar, if not the same, place would help me retain some type of control. If I didn’t fill out and send in the applications I didn’t have to worry about adjusting to college life.
You can’t do it
When you try to do new things there always seems to be that voice in the back of your head that says you’re in over your head. Maybe I was listening to that voice too much.
As you’re starting something new it can become really easy to doubt yourself. Even the biggest ego can get deflated.
For the love of drama
No one really wants it, or is at least willing to admit it. But it does provide some kind of entertainment. Constant drama keeps you busy and always turns into a story people end up repeating time and time again.
Even though I didn’t really think this applied to my situation I still felt the need to consider it. I’ve seen so many people do things almost backwards just to retain a bit of excitement in their lives.
All of these have a major thing in common, a significant difference. Change is hard. It’s especially scary when it’s sudden or dependent on something else. Like not getting accepted into any schools would have been devastating and the end before it even started.
Even though I doubt that would be the case I just didn’t want to see it as a possibility.
Stop being a saboteur
In order to stop tripping over yourself you have to stop with the self-sabotage. Once your get out of your own way you’ll have fewer obstacles to get over. You’ll be able to achieve so much more.
You’ll be able to get closer to your dreams because you won’t be putting a wall up in between you and it. Your goals won’t seem so farfetched and they’ll be easier to achieve.
This is how:
1. Watch yourself
Whenever you’re changing your behavior you can easily slip back into your old traits without even realizing it. That’s why you have to keep your eye out. If you don’t you can end up in the same place a month later and not even know why.
Once you notice that you’re sabotaging yourself, putting more space between you and your goals, take a step back, examine your motives and adjust your actions.
2. Picture the outcome
Everything you do is for a reason. As things get tough or too real the end result can become hard to remember. And once you lose sight of the bigger picture it becomes easy to let it all fall apart.
When you start to make it harder on yourself remember why you’re doing it in the first place. Seeing yourself succeed motivates you to get the job done.
Of course they may still be some hiccups along the way but they’re less challenging when they’re not an inside job.
3. Accept imperfection
Nothing is perfect, it’s just your idea of perfection and sometimes your ideas don’t work out exactly to a tee. But if it still works out and serves the greater purpose what difference does it make.
Don’t let the idea of something having to be perfect get in your way. Perfection is not realistic and really just a concept. You can only achieve something that your mind thinks is attainable.
Don’t accept obstacles as a sign to throw in the towel. If you want it then go and get it.
When something comes up or you find that you’re tripping over yourself, take a moment and remember what it is all for. Take that time to think about why you’re doing it.
If you let self-sabotage take over again you may feel somewhat comfortable in the stagnant place of status quo, but you definitely won’t be happy there.
There’s no way you can live the life you want if you keep preventing progress. The entertainment resulting from the drama simply isn’t worth it.
This self-destructive behavior doesn’t have to be the end for you.
How about you…
What causes your self sabotage? How do you get out of your own way?